I am utterly bamboozled by how some people manage to keep going and going and going …..
I’m not a huge Boris Johnson fan but he comes to mind this morning as a person who must be way beyond exhausted trying to deal with everything from rising Covid rates to last minute Brexit decisions and all this just months after he was badly laid up with Covid himself.
Obviously Boris is a very public example but there are carers out there who are trying to cope 24/7 – 365 days a year – with inordinate physical and emotional demands and somehow they battle on.
And then there are activists in the field of homelessness, for example, and indeed people who are homeless who simply never get a break. And what of those in uncontrolled pain who are worn out from it and existing with it day and night?
How do they do it?
I know love, determination and adrenaline can bring one a certain distance but exhaustion has to set in and the body simply can’t keep going on little or no respite.
Yes, I am extremely grateful that I have a bed and that I can get into it and get sleep that replenishes and refreshes.
So many people are not so fortunate, that’s for sure.
I banjaxed my back on Friday and am way out of my comfort zone, to say the very least. There was a time when my back was bad, bad, bad for years on end and I became quite an expert on every conceivable kind of therapy from the very orthodox to the wildly alternative.
In the middle of that period my mother quipped that the pain was such a constant companion that I’d miss it when it was gone. Of course, she knew that once it had gone that I would very quickly forget those nerve jangling efforts of trying to turn in bed and the wobbly walks measured in half paces with breath held braced for the next muscle spasm.
Of course, what I miss in the throes of this latest ‘episode’ is having Father arriving up to the house with ‘meals on wheels,’ carefully wrapped in Mother’s love and emphasis on eye appeal.
‘Eye appeal’ generally meant a sprig of fresh parsely or maybe an edible nasturtium.
One of the most important things that I learned back then about pain was the importance of leaning into it rather than fighting against it and one way that I tried to make friends with it was through colour.
I think I must have had a premonition about the back caving in on Thursday last when I was out in Mount Congreve because I got to wondering about ‘blues’ and low mood.
Anyway, here’s the colour of my soft-tissued pain as I’m perceiving it now: