When a Friend Dies

A friend of mine died very suddenly recently and it hit me in ways I find hard to articulate.

We were around the same age, were pregnant at the very same time, met regularly, shared a lot of experiences, were like-minded in many ways and had a shared passion for the sea.

I keep thinking that I see her and find myself on the verge of waving or heading over to talk to her only to realise that my subconscious is playing tricks with me.

I so wanted to give her lovely daughter a hug but couldn’t because of the times we live in. I’m not a huggy person at all but this was different.

I know she wouldn’t want tears; she wanted people to be happy and went out of her way to listen, support and understand. But tears have a way of forming, just like dew drops at dusk.

It’s best to think of her impish smile and heartfelt chuckle. They will stay with me forever and what about it if I wave at a stranger. They’d more than likely have been through the very same experience and no doubt you have too.

Author: socialbridge

I am a sociologist and writer from Ireland. I have worked as a social researcher for 30 years and have had a lifelong passion for writing. My main research interests relate to health care and sense of place.

19 thoughts on “When a Friend Dies”

  1. My father passed in August 2019 and that hit me hard and is still something I am working my way through. When a friend passes it’s a reminder of your own mortality, so it seems. So sorry for your loss.

    1. Hi Tony, deepest sympathy on your father’s death. It’s so recent, relatively speaking, and I hope you find peace with it in time.
      I don’t know that the death of a friend highlights one’s own mortality and more than usual. It’s something I am acutely aware of anyway, perhaps because of the death’s of loved ones at key moments in my earlier life.

  2. Memories leave footprints on ones heart. Please accept my sincere sympathy in the passing of your dear friend. Perhaps a simple gesture of planting some flower seeds in her memory may ease the pain of what you are feeling. A neighbor of ours just lost her husband of sixty-one years (We both shared the same number of anniversary years on the same date). It was a sudden passing. I keep in touch with her as she is by herself at home. I’m sure you will be able to see her daughter and express your feelings via a hug hopefully in the near future..

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