A Steep Learning Curve

The Doghouse


Hello World,

It’s no joke being a 2 year-old puppy dog ~ just in case you thought it might be.

I’ve landed myself in a a right dogfaddle over the last while getting carried away with stuff. It all started when I was out at one of the beaches with very tall cliffs and I took off after a seagull and ended up scrambling up the highest cliffs you could ever imagine. To tell the truth, I don’t know how I did it. Here’s what they look like:

Steeper than Steep
Steeper than Steep

The seagull soared off into the blue and I was left all dizzy and lost and when I took a look down at the beach I thought I was goin’ to keel over. I could hear Jean sort of sobbing away in the distance ~ or maybe she was screaming like a maniac ….. the main thing was I could hear her but I hadn’t a notion if I’d ever see her again.

Well, after a lot terrors that I can’t even bear to think about now I managed to get down to where the car was. Jean was there and grabbed me into her arms and cuddled me like never before but when we got home she seemed to have changed a lot and I wasn’t allowed to go to any beach or be off the lead anywhere. I HATE the lead.

Next thing my tummy went all wonky ~ I know it was sort of from being in the bad books and from being bored silly. Don’t tell Jean but I think what really made me sick was getting stuck into a bottle of Vodka that someone fired into the garden. I was thirsty and it tasted nice and made me all relaxed again and took away the awful memories of looking down from the tip top of that cliff.

You know about being sick as a dog ~ well that’s sick, vomit, yuck, sore tum, burning eyes ….. and having a guy in a green coat poking and prodding at me in all sorts of places that I thought were mine and mine alone. It was kinda worth it ‘cos Jean was lovely to me and even slept with me in front of the fire one night in the middle of it. When I say ‘slept,’ I mean took me in and out of the garden every few minutes to be sick and …..

Ready for Action!
Ready for Action!

You’d be thinking I’d have learned from all that but the VERY first day she brought me out to the wood, I was eyeing up a robin and next thing there was a big thundery sound and a peasant – I think that’s what you call it – flew up out of the thick grass. I got all excited and took off after it at a hundred miles an hour and ended up crossing a road in front of a car that screeched to a stop about an inch in front of me.

The people in the car were nice to me but were very nasty to Jean and then she told me that I’d have to ‘do time in the doghouse.’

Time goes     v              e                       r                     y

s           l                   o                      w               l                  y

in the doghouse and I’m bored out of my mind counting seagulls:


I managed to escape this evening and write to you. I’m just hoping you can convince her to forgive me. She says it’s the terrible twos or maybe hormones (whatever they are). I don’t know why I can’t seem to keep out of trouble but I know I’ll try if I get a another chance.

If Only .....
If Only …..

Gotta go. I hear her coming in the front door.



Author: socialbridge

I am a sociologist and writer from Ireland. I have worked as a social researcher for 30 years and have had a lifelong passion for writing. My main research interests relate to health care and sense of place.

71 thoughts on “A Steep Learning Curve”

  1. Oh dear! You are in the wars. My advice, just look at Jean with your big lovely eyes and hopefully she will know that it is in your nature to be inquisitive. Well that’s what I tell Olga…she gave me a bath on Sunday becasue I was due for my flea treatment etc…now that’s a nasty exercise in hard love…and then I had to eat this great big chunk of something called a tick protection treatment…the stuff we do…anyway, I was out in the garden this morning and found a little lizzard thingy…so I got to chasing and then I found a really interesting spot to dig…so got to diggin…I didnt think anything of it until I heard the O.M.G. shriek and realised she was looking at my paws…the only thing wrong with being a white fluffy dog is that I can’t hide the mud on my legs…they were covered in it today…and then…the news I really hate…”you are going to have a big wash in a minute Dougal…can’t let you round the house till I have cleaned you.” So, I hope you have a great day now and all will be well in your world soon…me I’m off to the wardrobe…she left the door open and I think I can hide there for a bit!!!

      1. a lizards is a crazy little creatre and we get lots around here in my garden. They are small and very quick and have scaly skin and odd markings on their back, with a frilly thing around their necks. Oh they greeny – brown in colour so they blend really well with the rocks and stuff. Anyway, I didnt get my bath:):) yeah yap…she cleaned my paws instead…boy was she rough…no tender love around here…but I did her her say to him, the other pet around here, that “he” meaning me has to have a bath on Sunday. And what’s even worse I heard them talking about their trip to Tasmania soon. Can’t take me, I don’t travel well on ferries and stuff so I’m off to my favourite holiday place with Mrs E…she loves me to death and spoils me rotten…but shoosh though…have to keep it secret…I hope you are not in the doggie house anymore…funny thing is…we share our kennels with them:):) take care though Stanny!!!!

  2. Omg! Stan you naughty boots! What are we to do with you?Alcohol is not a good idea neither is trying to take off off of cliffs! You don’t need any more visits to the the men in green coats they can be a little overzealous in their prodding and poking.
    I am going to have to tell you through pheasant or no there is to be no more playing with the traffic I don’t think Jean’s nerves can take it! She is so good to you ….. But she is only human so be good for her, keep the computer clean and she will fogive you soon!! Hugs willow xxcc

            1. Today was a pretty good day. Got to go to the woods and the men are bringing me to the beach later. I love when it’s dark. They can’t see my cos I’m black so I can get up to mischief!!
              Hope you had time to play today?

            2. Well I didn’t really because, sadly we grown up humans are not as wise as you canine guys and we have forgotten how to play. But I did go to Pilates and the hairdressers… Mind you I have annoyed my other half twice today so I might be joining you in the dog house!! ❤

  3. EEK, Stan! NEVER drink that rotten stuff they leave around! (‘Cept beer… that’s quite nice if they ever let you near it!) And, I mean… what else are you supposed to do with birds? We have to chase ’em! Nature and all that…

    I’d watch it if she’s talking about hormones though… you know those bits you thought were yours and yours alone???? They seem to have other ideas ’bout that…

    Get well…and get out 😉

    Much love, Ani xxx

    1. Jeepers Ani, my tummy is a bit wonky again after reading what you said about hormones. I don’t want to know anymore.
      I didn’t know what was in the bottle but I recognised the scent of who fired it over the wall. That was a shocker, I can tell you. Nearly cracked my head open!

            1. I’ll hang on for a few days and see if she settles back to her old self (or I settle back to mine!) Thanks for the advice. Ecer think of being an Agony Ani Dog?

  4. Stan live and learn (which I think you have already), but memories are short and I know that there will be times when you just can’t stay out of mischief..One thing I know for sure Jean will always be there for you with hugs and kisses. Don’t forget to give her a big kiss because Valentines day is this Sunday and let her know how much you love being with her. XXX’s & OOO’s (kisses & huggs)…PS: Your adventures would make a good read book especially for the kiddos’ ….

    1. Joni, now that’s a great idea about Valentine’s cos she was telling me that it’s mad to be in a house of men who just don’t do romantic with chocs and red roses. Wonder where I could get a red rose?

    1. Dilys, you seem very innocent but sweet.
      I suppose we could have a trial but I might be too rough and tumble for you.
      You don’t need to know about Vodka and cliffs are HUGE big stoney walls that are rubbly near the top. Never ever look down from the top or you’ll be Dizzy not Dilys. xxx

            1. I never saw a chipmunk but I brought a dead mouse home for jean the other day and she started screaming and tore out of the house. I don’t get how she thinks at all a lot of the time. What’s your mama like?

            2. Oh I love paper towels! Dad’s can be a bit iffy alright. I think there’s a ‘jealousy factor.’ I heard someone talking about that the other day. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

  5. Stan those cliffs are very dangerous and as for running across in front of cars…..poor Jean her heart must have been in her mouth and the poor driver too. No you should not be drinking vodka especially when it’s more than a puppy unit! I know it must be difficult not to be chasing birds but you could always look without following! Just stay off the alcohol altogether. It’s lent Stan tomorrow so a good time to start with your good behaviour. I love your windswept photo. Be a good puppy now and hopefully you will be out of the dog house soon.

      1. I know a cat called Buddy 🙂 His human has Down Syndrome, he gave the cat that name, because they are good buddies. I am their buddy too, so I think it is all ok 😉

          1. Oh I know people who are afraid of cats, so it is OK 🙂 I feel comfortable with both, but my heart belongs to cats 🙂 Differences make life interesting 🙂 Buddies then?

            1. Differences make life interesting alright. You should try my new food. It’s lovely. I have to pretend my tummy is still sick to keep getting it.
              Yeah, buddies!! Woof.

            2. We could go on a picnic ~ just you and me. Jean won’t ever let me near a cliff again but you sound like you’d be just the person to go with. I’ll make the sambos.

  6. I had such a laugh, as for a moment I thought you were talking about yourself 🙂 it is such a lovely and funny story, loved it! Well I am back and have so much to catch up with now, so many blogs to read and enjoy, and then to share my own too.
    Have a lovely day!
    Kind regards, Agnes

  7. Well Stanley, you beautiful pooch, I think you have to hold your head up high and learn to play her at her own game! She is pretty neat with words and I see that you are not so bad yourself. What you need to do as a misunderstood pup is to put it in writing…just like she does…social bridge or something she calls it. Social bridge, Doggy bridge, Hound bridge, there’s a role here for you! StanBridge…now that has a real ring to it! Give it a leash..I mean a lash …and see can you get her to really understand why you need to climb cliffs, play with traffic and drink gin. It’s a bit of a bind being a pup, but I am sure you will grow up to be a great dog! Keep us posted!

      1. Jeepers, you can see how bad the hangover has been that I’m only realising this is here now!
        StanBridge has a brilliant ring to it ~ thanks for the suggestion. Is this keeping you posted?

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