November 15 was always a very significant day in my parent’s lives as they got married on November 15, 1948.
They both lived to see their 60th anniversary in 2008 and this is now the fourth since Father died. While there were never any major parties or the like, they always marked their Anniversary by exchanging presents and by going on some sort of outing ~ maybe lunch out or a picnic by the sea if the weather was fine.
I’ve struggled with November 15th since Mother died in 2oo9. It’s a date that’s etched in my life calendar because of the ‘ceremony’ that always surrounded it and the recalling of memories of that day that they tied the knot.
I wrote about possible plans for the day last year but in the end I didn’t do much more than write ~ I simply wasn’t able. I just wasn’t emotionally ready.
This year I felt different and I spent some lovely time today in celebrating a marriage that was fundamentally important to giving me life itself.
I was rather surprised to find that November 15th in 1948 fell on a Monday. I don’t know if Monday weddings were more common back then than they are now. I don’t know of any other couple who got married on a Monday!
So, I made my way to Annestown Beach this morning; had the obligatory cup of coffee, a paddle and carved a little memorial in the sand. It all felt so right and the gorse was in full bloom out around there ~ when the gorse is out of bloom, kissing’s out of season.
Today seemed just the right day to buy my snowdrop and hyacinth bulbs ~ always such symbols of hope and inextricably linked to this time of year, especially for Mother.
On the way home, I decided to call into The Majestic Hotel here in Tramore. That’s where Mother and Father had their wedding reception. The hotel has been rebuilt since those days as you can see from the following photos:
Even though the buildings are different, I half expected to see the wedding party arrive into the hotel as I was sitting there sipping my latte.
Tramore Beach that was so special to both Mother and Father and where we shared so, so many precious hours, days and moments was my last stop.
There is was, just as it was back in November 1948, being watched over by the Metal Man and whispering its everlasting words of love.
In conclusion, I would say from my experience, that the grieving process is very different for each individual and for each death in an individual’s life. Perhaps a good rule of thumb is only to do things when they feel right ~ not when you or someone else thinks the time should be right.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man. (William Shakespeare ~ Hamlet Act 1)